Growing up is hard.
This isn't anything new. It just is what it is.
It's different. And hard. And scary. And I'm not sure how much I like it.
It forces me to get uncomfortable and sometimes be absolutely miserable.
It's tough and sometimes it sucks. But it's life and I can't really change a whole lot about the majority of it.
I always thought that I'd have my life all figured out by now.
I had a plan.
Go to college. Get a degree.
Get hired for my dream job.
Meet Prince Charming. Get swept off my feet.
Get married. Travel the world together.
Settle down. Have a couple kids. And a cute house. With a dog of course.
Basically, have life all figured out and be happy.
All by the age of about 25.
That's not how it went.
Yes, graduated and got that degree from college.
But that's about as far as I've gotten.
I am now 23.
I don't have my dream job. Or any job at the moment.
I have not met Prince Charming. I'm certainly not married.
I still live at home because with my student loans, and current lack of a job, I can't afford to pay rent.
My life is not figured out.
When I look around at other people my age, I feel like something went wrong somewhere.
A lot of them are married. Some with 1 or 2 kids.
They have jobs in the fields that they enjoy.
They live in their own apartments, some with roommates, some without.
Sure, some of them are still in school. But they have more of their life in order than I do.
They're living the life I planned for myself.
Sure. They've had their hardships, but all I can see is their successes and that I'm nowhere near that level of adulting.
So many thoughts go through my mind on this subject. Every. Single. Day.
Shouldn't I have more figured out by now? Does my Prince Charming even know I exist? Does that guy even deserve a right swipe? Why am I the only one who feels stuck? Am I broken? Do guys even go on dates anymore? What if I'm stuck living at home till I'm 50? Did I choose the right degree path?
There is one question that rotates through more often than the others. Why can't I be like them? I had a plan for heaven's sake!
Why is it that my life plan is taking so long? What happened to the plan to be a 'real adult' by 25? Am I doomed to be stuck in this cloud of confusion forever? It's not like I haven't tried. Because trust me, I have. I feel like that's all I do is try. But it never seems good enough. How am I supposed to get where I want to be? How do I get un-stuck? How can I, a 23 year old single unemployed woman possibly make it in this crazy world?
I know this makes it sound like my life is a never ending pit of craziness and despair. It's not. I promise. It's got plenty of good things too, more than it has bad. I have a good life. A great family. Amazing friends. I'm actually a pretty happy person 99.99% of the time. I simply want what everyone else wants. To feel like their life has a real purpose. Mine is just taking longer than I thought it would to get there. And that is something that I'm working on accepting.
If there's one thing that I've learned from this rollercoaster called adulthood, it's that life, at least mine, won't always go as planned. Ever. Even if you took months to write every little detail down, and you're positive your plan is foolproof. Life. Doesn't. Care. It's got different things planned. Some of them may match with yours, and some won't. And that's okay.
As my good friend Alexnder Graham Bell said, "When one door closes, another opens. But we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us."
Don't focus so much on the closed doors, or parts of your life plan that didn't work out, that you miss the new doors and opportunities that have opened up for you.
This isn't anything new. It just is what it is.
It's different. And hard. And scary. And I'm not sure how much I like it.
It forces me to get uncomfortable and sometimes be absolutely miserable.
It's tough and sometimes it sucks. But it's life and I can't really change a whole lot about the majority of it.
I always thought that I'd have my life all figured out by now.
I had a plan.
Go to college. Get a degree.
Get hired for my dream job.
Meet Prince Charming. Get swept off my feet.
Get married. Travel the world together.
Settle down. Have a couple kids. And a cute house. With a dog of course.
Basically, have life all figured out and be happy.
All by the age of about 25.
That's not how it went.
Yes, graduated and got that degree from college.
But that's about as far as I've gotten.
I am now 23.
I don't have my dream job. Or any job at the moment.
I have not met Prince Charming. I'm certainly not married.
I still live at home because with my student loans, and current lack of a job, I can't afford to pay rent.
My life is not figured out.
When I look around at other people my age, I feel like something went wrong somewhere.
A lot of them are married. Some with 1 or 2 kids.
They have jobs in the fields that they enjoy.
They live in their own apartments, some with roommates, some without.
Sure, some of them are still in school. But they have more of their life in order than I do.
They're living the life I planned for myself.
Sure. They've had their hardships, but all I can see is their successes and that I'm nowhere near that level of adulting.
So many thoughts go through my mind on this subject. Every. Single. Day.
Shouldn't I have more figured out by now? Does my Prince Charming even know I exist? Does that guy even deserve a right swipe? Why am I the only one who feels stuck? Am I broken? Do guys even go on dates anymore? What if I'm stuck living at home till I'm 50? Did I choose the right degree path?
There is one question that rotates through more often than the others. Why can't I be like them? I had a plan for heaven's sake!
Why is it that my life plan is taking so long? What happened to the plan to be a 'real adult' by 25? Am I doomed to be stuck in this cloud of confusion forever? It's not like I haven't tried. Because trust me, I have. I feel like that's all I do is try. But it never seems good enough. How am I supposed to get where I want to be? How do I get un-stuck? How can I, a 23 year old single unemployed woman possibly make it in this crazy world?
I know this makes it sound like my life is a never ending pit of craziness and despair. It's not. I promise. It's got plenty of good things too, more than it has bad. I have a good life. A great family. Amazing friends. I'm actually a pretty happy person 99.99% of the time. I simply want what everyone else wants. To feel like their life has a real purpose. Mine is just taking longer than I thought it would to get there. And that is something that I'm working on accepting.
If there's one thing that I've learned from this rollercoaster called adulthood, it's that life, at least mine, won't always go as planned. Ever. Even if you took months to write every little detail down, and you're positive your plan is foolproof. Life. Doesn't. Care. It's got different things planned. Some of them may match with yours, and some won't. And that's okay.
As my good friend Alexnder Graham Bell said, "When one door closes, another opens. But we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us."
Don't focus so much on the closed doors, or parts of your life plan that didn't work out, that you miss the new doors and opportunities that have opened up for you.
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